These are my feelings a redness and a blackness and a whiteness and a blueness randomly organised into a provisional chaos that will change with time as the pain passes as the paint cures as the oils dry and the sadness drains and there is peace once again in my heart
The hypnotic sound of the sea breaking on the shore the hydraulic power of the waves that race in and appear to trip and crash down on the shingle the rasp as the waters retreat the white surf lacing the beach Something primeval within us nostalgia for the ocean depths from which we emerged and for a simpler form of life for that prime motility that brings us to where we are today
The sea runs in our veins with all the essential salts star warmth marine blood stoking the complexities of human relations the come and go upon dry land She loves me she loves me not another shore another sea there is always another another and another
The play of light and shadow on the canal waters place of all ages place of all beauty shops filled with sumptuous pieces of Murano glass
And how the light travelled through the contoured colours and how it rose in your eyes as you examined them and how I loved you then and how I love you now
Love too is a work of the imagination it constantly seeks new forms of expression in order to remain fresh to keep the present alive and not simply trade on the faded past
It can be brash and outspoken and have real attitude since by its very nature it’s gestural more in the manner of a de Kooning or a Pollock than a Titian or a Raphael
Yes I want all of you the sweep of your strokes across my body your hair falling into my eyes my face drowning in your tears of laughter your precious hand gripping on to mine as we hurtle down the roller coaster moving from the darkness into the light
Momentary flames a brief fire that flickers in the mouth of a cave a time for reflection and for expression Pollock’s hand prints on the wall the colours mixed with intention a scheme of things in the mind deliberately executed
Not to leave a record but simply to tell of how it is of how it was that day when we walked through the rain or when we parked our bikes and stood in the shadow of Chartres cathedral and admired its beauty Days that we will never forget until the end of our days and our love held in the memory
A poet works with eyes and ears listening and watching for whatever is worthy of note and for the silence that sustains it all
A poet sees and tells such as it is the lie of the land the clocks that tick the hand that leans out of the boat to trail fingers in the smooth sea
A poet wipes the salt from his lips before he kisses the love of his life He preserves her beauty in lines that will reach beyond the outer edges of time
But a poet must not be betrayed : to do so is to break the universe in two
And so my life evolves in momentary flames of passion and of loss of belief and disbelief the warm colours of love the frosty colours of abandonment my image strung up on the walls of a civilised cave
These are the true forms these the accurate renderings of a somewhat chaotic existence captured the texture of my life It is my breath that has filled this unfinished canvas and I fully intend to paint myself out of every corner that I have through my choices and my good and bad decisions created
What does it represent what does it all mean you might ask and I answer everything every tiny detail It is for the observer to unravel the intimate timeline to arrive at the heart of the matter the broken heart and to piece it all together
I imagine flakes of time falling gently through the universe the ash of moments invisible to the naked eye but that the heart apprehends in the darkness that moves into the light in the light that moves into the darkness
Three years of flowers that first flourished then faded and then died The images abandoned in the mirror along with the laughter and the love What it meant to be together what it means to be apart
Came now to peace the darkness and the silence before the light before the day broke Heard foxes in retreat the first cries of the pigeons Heard the crows scampering across the roof all this before the local world awoke before the buzz of traffic in the distance Peace in the darkness and in the silence alone with my thoughts before the turbulence of the day nursing memories mindful of the blessings I have received the love that came and went but that was for a while worth living for
I shall set this yellow canvas aside for a while and wait to see what might grow in it in the imagination Yellow the colour of joy and energy and loyalty of intellect and fresh hope of the wheat fields on the foothills around Arles or the sunflowers that Vincent so lovingly painted with his life the sky above him a chrome yellow almost as bright as the sun itself